Category: personal

From the Archive: Obsession

NOTE: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE FILM

Obsession (film)

Seen May 17, 2026

Holy shit what a movie. Strong contender so far for my favorite film of the year.

The premise is simple: A man purchases a “one wish willow,” a novelty item advertising a one time wish when broken. The main character, Bear, purchases one as a gesture for his crush, Nikki. After his attempts to connect with her are self-sabotaged, he wishes she would love him more than anyone in the world.

Immediately, his wish is granted, and all Nikki wants to do is spend time w/ him. He is excited at first & everything goes smoothly. She loves him. She Loves Him. SHE LOVES HIM.

It’s clear the whole time Bear knows that something is off. early on, he asks her if she loves him more than anyone else & she confirms. He still fucks her. It’s not until her behavior becomes erratic – watching him sleep, duct-taping the door shut, making him lunch from his dead cat – that he says something. He begs her to be normal. Not herself. He just wants her to love him and not be strange.

It becomes increasingly clear that whatever force is puppeting Nikki’s body is not Nikki. The real Nikki breaks through at times, screaming after kissing bear, slicing her face with a broken bottle, and eventually, heartbreakingly, begging Bear to end her suffering and kill her. He responds to her last attempt to reach out to him by accusingly asking her what is terrible about being with him, before abandoning her alone in the dark to talk to another woman.

The ending is as violent as one might expect & ends with Nikki returning to her body after Bear dies in her arms, knowing she has murdered two of their close friends.

It is a raw and realistic look at the way “nice guys” often do not actually see the true value in the women they lust after. In the beginning, Bear speaks about the emotional support & care Nikki has given him, but does not care about that once he has full access to her body. At one point, he calls customer service for the One Wish Willow, and hears Nikki screaming. He knows she is in constant torment and still does not care about her enough to change anything about the arrangement.

From the archive posts are ones written primarily for myself. They come from my journal, my notes app, or just essays written on the computer. I’ve decided I want to be better about sharing my writing, so I hope you enjoyed it.

Life, uhhh, gets in the way

I was planning to write in this blog much more often, but some stuff happened. Some of it was personal, some of it was my home being occupied by a federal force.

But the sun is out and so am I. It’s almost pride month, and it’s time to discuss what’s going on.

I got to serve on a jury last month. I expected to spend a day or two in court, but ended up serving for a civil trial that lasted two weeks. The case made the news, and was brought by the lawyers who were the first to make Alex Jones pay financially for his lies about Sandyhook.

This case was regarding the same type of vehicle and issue that caused Anton Yelchin’s accident. The plaintiff’s car rolled back on him at a gas station when he thought he put it in park, the front door catching on a bollard in front of a gas tank. The car rolled over his leg, causing injuries that would later cause the lower portion of his leg to be amputated.

It was a gruesome two weeks. The last day of the trial, the defense showed us an image of his leg’s injury, and it was so gruesome I’m still thinking about it. They showed us X-ray images before, and those were enough for me.

At the end of the day, the jury ruled in favor of the plaintiff, and awarded over $18 million dollars. That’s such a huge amount to be a part of and I am actually proud of the work I did with my fellow jurors.

I was bursting to talk about the trial the entire time it was happening, but now I’m allowed to talk about it and it feels much less interesting. We could not even discuss the trial with our fellow jurors until it was over.

I feel like I blinked, and now it’s basically Pride month. I’m excited to go to events this year. I feel a lot more connected with the queer events going on. Hopefully I will get to a point where I have enough time and energy to volunteer. But even just going has been great.

My little sister came to visit recently which was a great time. We got to go to a drag king show with the fiance and some other friends, which was incredible fun.

Other than that, I’ve been focusing on keeping myself grounded and whole. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, listening to music, and playing video games, so posts on those should be forthcoming.

The fiance and I have been watching ER, which has been a trip. The ’90s feel so far back. Which, thinking about it, me watching ER is the same as my parents watching shows from the 60’s when I was a kid, so it may actually be that far back. So many issues with healthcare we see today were already a problem back then, but it’s also amazing to see the advancements we’ve had. Just the difference in treatment options for AIDs patients between seasons 1 and 5 are staggering.

So, yeah, this is basically a post to say hello, I’m alive, I haven’t forgotten about this, and I’m planning to post more soon. Stay tuned.

Journalling

One of the things I’ve been trying to keep up with better since I moved is keeping a written record. There have been times when I haven’t written for a year or so, but for the most part, I have tried to keep a record of things.

I’m also a journal keeper. It is really interesting (if sometimes painful) to go back and re-read the way I used to think. I’m currently going through them all in chronological order. I was a fully different person back then.

I made a photo set of my current journal set up after being inspired by a lot of other people’s on TikTok. I’m currently trying to pull back on my use of that site, so I’m sharing them here!

A leather journal case with a yellow peep charm hanging from the cords. Text: "my journal ecosystem as someone who is more of a writer than an artist. I got the peep charm from a local artist.
I made a little slideshow for my TikTok. I’m no longer interested in posting on that site, so I’m sharing this here instead!
The grey journal case and tan planner from the last image, now side by side instead of stacked. There is a red mushroom charm visible on the journal case. Text: "this is my regular use setup. the charm is from michaels. I splurged a little on a papier planner. I got the journal from myleatherco on etsy because I couldn't afford a fancy one."
I got inspired by “journal ecosystem” videos and decided to make my own to see if it would help me be more productive or want to write more. The answer to both has been yes.
image of planner. text: "this is where I plan my day. it is july to july so i'm still figuring out how to use it."
I took these photos in August. I’m still using the planner, and it’s been great. I’m not showing the inside because it has some personal stuff in there.
image of grey leather case with red and silver mushroom charm. Text: "I've been journalling since I was in the single digits but the leather case is new."
If you haven’t seen these before, there are elastic bands on the inside to hold multiple notebooks. I’ve been using that to organize my writing topics.
Dark green notebook with floral accents and a sticker of a skull. The notebook is labeled "ZOMBIES." text: "I am currently working on a short story, but because I am who I am, I have to invent the world first, and this is for that."
I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing fiction. This notebook has been written in the least, but it’s still nearly halfway filled.
Inside of notebook with writing on pages. Text: "I got this as a 3 book set from Barnes and Noble."
Please don’t steal my very original setting of living in a zombie apocalypse.
Cardboard covered kraft journal with a sticker of a raven on an upturned helmet and "We need Act up queer nation energy now" written in ransom note letters. Text: "This is my notebook for writng essays/rants/blog posts that may eventually be shared. These notebooks are super cheap from OccasionalMotto on etsy."
This notebook is where I started writing down what I want this blog to be! Hopefully many future thoughts will be added.
Black A5 journal, looks similar to a moleskine. Text: "my actual journal. I've had this since January and it's about 2/3 filled. I write when I feel like it, which is usually 3-4 times a week. this is from [redacted bc I do not support the company and would not purchase again]"
I actually ended up finishing this notebook about a week ago, and now I’m in a new one.
blurred journal entry, red text with stickers. Text "example journal entry"
this is just what a random spread looks like for me. I’ve been very into colored inks and stickers.
Another journal entry with text blurred, and stickers on the side. Text "and another"
i’m almost out of gudetama stickers
List of media I was into in June. Text: "I keep track of all the media I'm into."
Some of these are recurring. Some of these I did not enjoy much at all. I’ve been keeping track of these when I can remember for a while now, and they are always fun to look back on.
Craft cardboard notebook with one sticker in the middle. Text: "This is my media notebook. it's an old moleskine I had laying around. I use it to write notes of things I'm thinking about from movies, books, and video games ingested recently.
this one has gotten a lot of use. I’ve watched and read a lot of great stuff this year.
Page of handwritten red text discussing my opinion on How To Survive a Plague. I'm unfortunately not copying all that. Text "Looks pretty standard inside"
second page of writing about film Text: "More writing about the film"
We recently watched this in our documentary group. It’s one of those movies that hits different every time I see it.
Back folder of notebook holding paperback. Text "Right now , one of the books I'm reading is thin so I just tucked it in there."
Text: "And that's it! I hope you enjoyed!"
This was my setup a few months ago. I have quite a few more journal spreads I can share. I’ve been having a lot of fun making them.

Has anyone else been into journalling lately? Or maybe did it a while ago but haven’t recently? I am always interested in how journalling helps other people or what draws them to it.

I have been keeping a diary/journal basically as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, the plan was that I was going to be a famous author so everyone would want to read my thoughts as a sort of companion to my novels. Now my journal text is for me to sort out what I’m feeling and keep track of what is going on in my mind since my memory is often terrible.

I have been writing pretty frequently lately, so I may share some more journal entries soon. I’ll maybe see if I can find some good ones from when I was younger, because I sure had opinions. Maybe not the best opinions, but they were definitely there.